Anyway, I was stewing about this a little on Saturday. I want to hide my head in the sand and just ignore it and see if it won't just disappear...I don't want to deal with it! Can't we just change posts and go to a different place where they don't fight or argue amongst themselves so much? It's stressful to hear tales and accounts of jealousy, hated, bickering, fighting...the undercurrents of the devil trying to come in and destroy... And that's when it hit me: This is NOT new. If I really think back on all my experiences with church--with PEOPLE--it's exactly the same everywhere! There is always jealousy, anger, cliques, fighting, etc. It's always there. I wish it weren't, but it is. It's been inside of every congregation I've ever been in--some more than others of course, and some of it has been more visible than others, but it's always there. This IS the devil trying to break up things that have goodness and the potential for GREATNESS! I can't hide my head in the sand and hope the next posting will come soon...I'm here right now and this is where they need my help. The next post will have its own set of problems, too. It won't go away just because I'm new there.
This realization brought me so much peace. Not because I'm ok with what goes on, but because He's helped me through it in the past. I know He'll help me--and them--again! I don't have to feel desperate to leave, just desperate to help, to love, to teach kindness. That's all. He can strengthen and lift. He has to bear so much more. He wants me to learn and gain experience. It's hard, but He would never give me more than I can bear.